We discover the lies they told us about Monopoly rules in our childhood, and ponder the intricacies of how exactly different people add numbers in their head, and debate over how to measure an apparent pinch of salt. Disclaimer: The fact that we talked about mathematics in episode 42 was entirely unplanned.
✍🏻 View the transcript for this episode
We discover the lies they told us about Monopoly rules in our childhood, and ponder the intricacies of how exactly different people add numbers in their head, and debate over how to measure an apparent pinch of salt.
Disclaimer: The fact that we talked about mathematics in episode 42 was entirely unplanned. Find out more about why 42 is the answer to The Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything.
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Toast & Roast:
Georgie:
Geoff:
Geoff 0:08
And welcome back to another episode of Toast & Roast. Hi, hello, how are you all? I’m with my co host Georgie.
Georgie 0:18
Sup.
Geoff 0:20
And I’m Geoff, I think.
Georgie 0:22
You think.
Geoff 0:23
Existential crisises aside. I believe we left off last time on a bit of a cliffhanger. And to be too fair, this is not exciting. Let’s be real. So.
Georgie 0:37
I will get the popcorn anyway, cos—
Geoff 0:39
We’ll—
Georgie 0:39
Cos popcorn’s good.
Geoff 0:42
We were talking about mat—we were talking about board games, and then got completely sidetracked into Kumon. And the education system. But, we were playing a board game and at the end of most board games, or most complicated—more, most—I guess even Monopoly, you know, you’re trying to add up your money or you’re trying to add up the points to see who wins. Who’s won. Well, Monopoly, technically, you should win and—you should keep playing until one person has all the money and everyone’s bankrupt. But I think most people cop out.
Georgie 1:15
Yeah it’s—
Geoff 1:15
In the middle.
Georgie 1:16
It’s boring. I don’t know. Yeah, go on.
Geoff 1:18
Have you ever finished a Monopoly game?
Georgie 1:22
If, I reckon if you don’t bend any of the bloody rules, I think it’s, it would be over quite quickly. Sort of, maybe, I could be wrong. It’s been a while since I’ve played, but a l—
Geoff 1:35
House rules.
Georgie 1:37
A lot of people bend the rules. And they’re like, “Oh, you can borrow money from the bank”. As soon as you allow people to borrow money from the bank, your game is fucked, you could be there all day.
Geoff 1:47
So my, my final, my last memory of a game of Monopoly and probably the final final time we ever played it, or last time we ever played it, was like over Christmas, or even maybe New Year’s and I was maybe eight or nine years old, it was before we moved to Perth. Playing with my cousin and we’re, we played till the very last person standing and we were playing some house rules. So it, it went for a long time. I think we played till 2am. We started something where before dinner at maybe 4pm. And we played for at least six, seven hours. I can’t believe that we did that. But I vaguely remember that we did go into the night. Any case, we played house rules, and house rules always take yeah, as you as you say, would take longer. So I pulled up fun Monopoly house rules to try but really it’s the fun Monopoly house rules everyone does, that thinking is the actual real rules.
Georgie 2:50
Free parking cash.
Geoff 2:52
Free parking cash, all taxes and fees collected in the middle of the bl—board. If you land our free parking you collect all the money from the middle of the board. We played this religiously.
Georgie 3:02
This is terrible in my opinion, looking back.
Geoff 3:05
Yeah, “many people are surprised to hear that free parking cash rule isn’t in the official rules, actually free parking is just meant to be a rest space. Nothing happens”.
Georgie 3:13
Yeah, literally nothing. Nothing is supposed to happen. It’s the most boring spot on the board.
Geoff 3:17
This is, this is definitely the rule that keeps the game going on forever.
Georgie 3:22
Yeah.
Geoff 3:23
No one ever loses enough money. I’ve never had double money landing on Go.
Georgie 3:30
Eh, what’s the rule?
Geoff 3:31
For you get 400 instead of 200.
Georgie 3:34
If you do what?
Geoff 3:36
Nothing?
Georgie 3:38
Oh, they just double it?
Geoff 3:40
According—if you receive $200 Each time you pass Go or land on it. If you land right on Go, you only get 200, if you—you don’t get another 200. That’s interesting.
Georgie 3:53
Is this real or is this...?
Geoff 3:56
I don’t know. Maybe he’s a house rules that they made up. Maybe it’s people who play them. But landing on Go directly, gets some people 400. Can’t collect rent in jail.
Georgie 4:07
I thought it was the reverse. Oh no, it’s—
Geoff 4:11
You... If you land on it, so people, people get 200 if they pass it, but people were saying you get 400 if you land on it.
Georgie 4:22
Yeah, that doesn’t sound like a real rule to me.
Geoff 4:25
No, I don’t know if anyone actually plays that house rule. When in jail, a player cannot collect any rent money from other players. That’s—actually we played that. I think we played that as well.
Georgie 4:38
I think that’s actually real.
Geoff 4:40
But it’s not.
Georgie 4:41
Yeah—what?
Geoff 4:41
You can still collect any rent that you are owed when people land on your properties while you’re in jail. Yeah.
Georgie 4:46
So who—I swear this was a real one. And people would be like, “haha, you’re in jail, I don’t owe you any money”.
Geoff 4:52
Yeah, you’re not meant to get any benefits right? It’s strange. If you roll “snake eyes”, double one, you collect five hundred dollars. I’ve never played that.
Georgie 4:53
No, never heard that one.
Geoff 5:04
I know—we get to roll again. I think if we did “snake eyes” or like a double, you double, you get to roll again.
Georgie 5:10
Yeah. Yeah, I’ve heard that one.
Geoff 5:13
If there’s three players in a row on a unique property, each player gets an extra $500. No, that’s ridiculous.
Georgie 5:22
Never heard of that one.
Geoff 5:24
Co ownership.
Georgie 5:25
No. Not happening, not fucking sharing. People can share Park Avenue.
Geoff 5:31
...share between each other.
Georgie 5:32
Is it Park Avenue, the blue one on the London version?
Geoff 5:35
Yeah, Park, Park Lane and Mayfair.
Georgie 5:37
Park Lane, sorry.
Geoff 5:39
We used to play something similar. But essentially we would we would give each other loans. But discounts for landing on so let’s say I got to loan from you to build a part of, for the third. No, you gave me the third property of a set. In return, I promise that you get 50% off rent. Like we make deals like that—
Georgie 6:10
This is too much to take, to keep track of.
Geoff 6:15
“At the start of the game, leave half the money in the bank, mix up the other half the money in the centre of the board, on the count of three, every player grabs what they can.” Why would you do—
Georgie 6:23
What the heck is this?
Geoff 6:25
It doesn’t sound like a fun house rule. “Mum always gets out of jail free. Always, no questions. She’s just that special.”
Georgie 6:33
No.
Geoff 6:36
Oh my god, we played this one. “Go around the board before buying”. Oh, my God. Yeah, this is so bad—
Georgie 6:43
Do you hate it or?
Geoff 6:45
This makes the game so long. But yeah, we thought it was a real rule. How do we think of this rule? Because it doesn’t exist. Makes no sense. We, we also played a different rule where if you land on it, and you don’t decide to buy it, then that’s it. You move on. But the real rule is that the bank auctions it to everybody else.
Georgie 7:16
Oh.
Geoff 7:17
So at every given time, everyone has a chance to get every—
Georgie 7:23
That’s a real thing?
Geoff 7:25
That’s a that’s the real rule.
Georgie 7:28
I don’t remember this!
Geoff 7:28
And you can imagine, it would go much faster if the bank just sold every property instead of everyone going round and round and like missing the properties. Like—yeah. Anyways.
Georgie 7:43
Oh, wait, have you heard of that—apparently—I could be wrong, I think there was a hack saying that you can actually win Monopoly if you just buy the, what was, the brown ones and the blue ones the first, the first row.
Geoff 7:57
Oh, interesting. no.
Georgie 7:58
If you do that, and then buy properties there or whatever. You are more likely to win the game with that tactic.
Geoff 8:07
Wow.
Georgie 8:07
Than if you tried anything else. So just buy the cheap ones.
Geoff 8:11
and yeah, yeah. Back when we got our computer for like our very first computer, my, my dad would go and get us video games on on discs. By the way, for those who don’t know what discs are, they are, okay, I don’t think anyone’s that young.
Georgie 8:34
Nah, I know, they’re like, plastic pancakes.
Geoff 8:39
Yeah.
Georgie 8:40
Really, really thin. Actually, yeah. But they’re like a doughnut because they have a hole in the middle.
Geoff 8:46
Yeah. And then you put it into your computer.
Georgie 8:49
They also don’t taste as good as pancakes or donuts.
Geoff 8:54
Yeah, you should realise that these are still plastic. You should not eat them. We used to put like, and you put them into machines and then the machines spin. Spin them, and then you get you get video games and stuff out of it. If anyone wants to know, there’s tiny tiny grooves on this plastic and it has little bumps which basically signify ones and zeros which gives instructions to the computer onto—yeah, okay. So uh, my dad would go and get discs or we would go to the shops and we get we get games on disc. We wouldn’t get one game per disc. We would get 10 games, 20 games, per disc.
Georgie 9:39
Oh is this those discs that had multiple games on them?
Geoff 9:43
Yeah, yeah.
Georgie 9:44
Oh my god. Yes. Oh my God, this takes me back, yeah.
Geoff 9:47
Yeah, and this might sound crazy but in in Malaysia, it’s a little bit lawless. Copyright was a bit lawless back then. And people didn’t give a shit. They would they would mod, they would hack your PlayStation or your or your N64 to play multi game cartridges and stuff like that. Anyways, so I got this disc and it had so many Monopoly versions on it. Had classic, had Star Wars Monopoly, all this kind of crazy stuff, which is which is great.
Georgie 10:19
I went to a board game, or game store in Tasmania, like a few months ago—
Geoff 10:25
Why?
Georgie 10:27
Because it just looked cool. I wanted to have a browse. Like we were I think we were in Launceston or something, but—
Geoff 10:33
So I didn’t mean to sound like, like, you shouldn’t go into—
Georgie 10:36
Shouldn’t go into—
Geoff 10:38
You? Georgie? Fashionista, walking into a nerd den?
Georgie 10:44
Yeah, I’m allowed. They, they had they had a millennial Monopoly.
Geoff 10:51
No, no.
Georgie 10:53
Yeah. And there was tagline, there’s, I’ve got the photo on my phone. But I’m recording on my phone. So I didn’t want to add extra background noise but but there’s a tagline on it that says something like you can’t you can’t afford it. So just, can’t afford real properties, so just play this game or something.
Geoff 11:11
Haha that’s hilarious.
Georgie 11:14
Try and find cover of it. The cover box.
Geoff 11:19
“Forget real estate, you can’t afford it anyway”.
Georgie 11:21
Yeah.
Geoff 11:23
That’s hilarious. It’s become a big Collector’s Edition, right? There’s so many Monopoly versions that you can even have card readers come with your Monopoly. So you don’t have cash, it’s cashless Monopoly.
Georgie 11:39
That’s fucked.
Geoff 11:43
Anyways, let’s have a look at this stuff. Where... oh, shit.
Georgie 11:47
Oh, wait, when you say that, do you mean like you got to use your phone? Or like—
Geoff 11:52
You got to what?
Georgie 11:53
Do you have to use your phone? Or—
Geoff 11:56
You get a card, You get a little credit card or debit card plastic thing in the box. And it has a magnetic strip on it and you literally scan it on the machine. The machine will tell you how much money you have.
Georgie 12:09
Is that more expensive? I assume because they’d have to—
Geoff 12:12
Yeah, was it... cashless Monopoly? Ah, yeah, this is the stuff. Look at this. Look at this Monopoly card and you’re tapping it. You don’t even scan it! You tap it on the machine. It’s RFID, whatever. Oh my god. Anyways, that’s hilarious. Monopoly for millennials, here we go. “Vegetarian bistro, $20. Vegan Bistro. $20”. Wait, that’s a set. You can buy vegetarian and vegan bistros. That’s not very diverse. This is why you can’t afford property. You can... there’s no trains, you get bikeshares. Farmers Market and Thrift Shop are the expensive ones. No they’re not.
Georgie 13:11
It’s because you’re buying the whole thing. No?
Geoff 13:13
Oh, no “week long Mediterranean retreat” is the expensive one. “Three day music festival”. And friends couch $10, parents basement $10. Anyways, so you walked into this game store. And this was this is the thing that caught your eye? Millenia—Monopoly for Millennials.
Georgie 13:42
Yeah, it’s funny.
Geoff 13:43
I can’t, I gotta say I’m building a PC. And I can’t wait to start collecting some—playing Uno and Monopoly because the digital versions have gotten really good. Like. Anyways, so the reason why I brought up board games—14 minutes in, I still haven’t decided to tell you the story. But essentially, at the end of the game, you’re counting stuff. And it was a lot of things to count. To be fair. There’s like different categories of cards. And each one of those cards have different scoring points and stuff like that. And one of my friends is like, oh, like, “it’s time to score” and I said, “Yeah, okay”, so I just started looking at numbers. I’m just adding it up, out loud, one after the other. And they’re like, you’re not gonna use a calculator? I’m like, “I’m Kumon bitch”. Hahaha. I didn’t say that. But yeah, so that’s the only time like I’ve found it really useful to have that like training in like—to flex. It’s my only flex in life is that I can mental addition, faster than, you can possibly, than I mean—I guess people who are good at calculators could do it faster than me. But yeah, I can go faster than myself calculating my calculator.
Georgie 15:13
Have I told you that I’m not very good at this?
Geoff 15:17
At mental math?
Georgie 15:18
Yeah, I’m terrible. Like—
Geoff 15:20
You should probably have gone to Kumon.
Georgie 15:21
I know.
Geoff 15:23
Instead of marking them.
Georgie 15:25
So if you said to me, like, “what’s 10 plus six”, I find that pretty easy. Because because we work in base 10. There’s a zero and you add the six. You go “seven plus seven”. I tend to remember those ones that are like, where the numbers are the same. Now, of course, I’m talking, I’m only talking about single digits for now. Don’t even like start trying to make me add like 23 plus 64 or something. But if someone says to me, “what’s eight plus six”? I don’t know what it is. Without going 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14. Yeah, I can’t do it. Like some people just go, “Yeah, what’s this? It’s this. What’s this?”
Geoff 16:09
Yeah.
Georgie 16:09
It’s, I can’t do it with very specific numbers. Okay, like, you could even test me now if you really wanted to.
Geoff 16:16
Yeah. Seven, seven plus eight?
Georgie 16:20
Fifteen.
Geoff 16:22
Yeah nice.
Georgie 16:22
So, see that took that took me longer than?
Geoff 16:25
Yeah
Georgie 16:25
Probably some other people.
Geoff 16:26
How do you, how did you do it, though? How did you do it in your head? Did you? Did you literally count eight forward?
Georgie 16:33
No, sometimes I do, right. But with that one. I went, what’s eight plus eight? Take away one, which is how you’re supposed to.
Geoff 16:41
Ah, interesting.
Georgie 16:41
Ask me another one. Ask me another one.
Geoff 16:43
All right. Nine plus four.
Georgie 16:50
Thirteen?
Geoff 16:52
Yeah.
Georgie 16:52
Yeah. So in that one, I went nine. And then literally, visually, in my mind, I imagined. I know this sounds very weird. But this is literally how it appeared my mind I imagined four dots. But in a two by two formation in a two by two formation, and then I went 9, 10 11, 12 13. So so I went nine. And then I counted, because it was easy for me to count in twos. I went 10, 11. And then I knew that I was trying to add four, and I went 12, 13. As if I was counting two rows of two dots. And it’s so fucking weird. But I’m, for some numbers. I’m just very bad at like, just knowing it. Like, I visually, it appears in my mind visually.
Geoff 17:40
Yeah, yeah. So how I do it is that I, for low numbers, I generally get to 10 first, and then with the remainder, that’s how much I add on to 10. And then I get thirteen. So if I have 9 and 4—
Georgie 17:56
Yeah, that blows my mind. I can’t do it, like people tell me how they do it. I think someone had a Twitter thread about this. And people are like, “Whoa”.
Geoff 18:03
Yeah I remember it. I think there was a Reddit or Twitter thread. And it was I can’t remember if it was Reddit or a Twitter thread. Yeah. The someone was like, how do you count? How do you add these two numbers and everyone gave their own method of like, adding it together and I was like, wait a second. There are other ways of adding, other than, other than the one that I’ve been using the entirety of my life?
Georgie 18:25
Yeah of course, man. You don’t just add, it’s like a full on travel through hyperspace. I don’t know.
Geoff 18:32
It’s a rodeo.
Georgie 18:36
It’s like, you know that um, what’s that uh, that meme that is to the Shooting stars by Bag Raiders song and it’s that I think it’s a fat guy jumping in pool meme or something. And somebody—
Geoff 18:51
What?
Georgie 18:51
’Shopped it. Yeah, just just go “shooting stars meme”, I think. You would know the song. I think it’s like—
Geoff 19:01
Oh, interesting. I’ve never seen this one.
Georgie 19:04
...talking about? Yeah, it’s basically like...
Geoff 19:11
“Shooting stars Know Your Meme”.
Georgie 19:13
Yeah. Have a look at one.
Geoff 19:16
I think of the mind blown meme.
Georgie 19:18
Oh, no, I’m not talking about that. This is—
Geoff 19:22
Yeah, I think the one where he just like, (explode noise).
Georgie 19:26
Yeah. That’s not so much mind blown as it is like, yeah, this I think someone there was a video of this fat guy jumping into a pool, people made fun of him. And like they put, they cropped him out of the video. And then they put a background of like space and like glitter and shit, and then they put it to the song Shooting Stars by Bag Raiders.
Geoff 19:57
Here it is.
Georgie 19:58
Yeah, that’s the one.
Geoff 20:00
Oh, jeez, I’ve never seen this one.
Georgie 20:03
And so that’s what I was thinking when we were adding shit. Yeah.
Geoff 20:09
Yeah, yeah. So I realised that people, people add things differently. So there’s counting from a number upwards, which is some—I think I do a mixture, depending on what audition you’re on.
Georgie 20:21
Yes, same.
Geoff 20:23
And of course, it’s different when you see a list of numbers versus just asking, versus someone telling you the two numbers. Jump strategy, yeah, you jumped your 10s and 2s. That’s, that’s the one I just said, adding up to 10. See if any of those add to 10. They don’t have to be next to each other. Do the 10s last... oh my god, this looks complicated. Break big numbers in 10s units, add the units and then add on the tens.
Georgie 20:51
I’ve done that one for bigger numbers. Like if you went like, 64 plus 23, or something.
Geoff 20:55
I think I do this when I’m counting. Like physical things. I’ll just put it into like, towers of 10. And then I’ll have whatever.
Georgie 21:02
Ah. Yeah.
Geoff 21:04
Yeah, “aim for 10”. Most of this 10 compensation method, man. Oh my god. There’s so many ways to add things. So yeah, that was that was an interesting read when—I think people got heated. That was really weird. You know?
Georgie 21:20
People go like, possessive over their method.
Geoff 21:25
Yeah. No, no, no, you got to count this way. Or, this is the new method. I’m like, new method. As long as you get the answer. Who cares what method you’re using?
Georgie 21:35
Like who’s gonna know? Who’s gonna know how you did it in your head and be like, “Oh, my God. No, that’s wrong.”
Geoff 21:40
Kumon knows. I think I’ve been marked down for doing long—yeah, they’re like, show you’re working out. Or even in school, show your working out, like this working out is wrong. But you got the answer right. So we’re gonna give you half a mark—
Georgie 22:00
Just go to the gym.
Geoff 22:00
I’ll crush, crush you with my thighs. My quads. Like, you want to mess with my quads?
Georgie 22:07
Yeah, but—
Geoff 22:08
For those who don’t know, Georgie used to be into quads.
Georgie 22:13
What do you mean “into quads”? I have quads, bitch.
Geoff 22:14
Yeah, quads queen.
Georgie 22:18
I just maintain I can break people’s necks with them. Yet to be proven but maybe one day we’ll find out. Um, with the working out for for, for maths that is.
Geoff 22:33
Working out for math! Working on my brain. Not my body. Just to be clear.
Georgie 22:41
By the way with the—yeah, maths. In the US they call it math, without the S.
Geoff 22:48
Math. Oh.
Georgie 22:51
Yeah.
Geoff 22:51
With an S. Math.
Georgie 22:54
Without an S, we say maths.
Geoff 22:55
Without an S.
Georgie 22:57
Yeah. And I think there was probably some whole internet thing was someone was was roasting us people from the US who said “I can’t do math” or whatever.
Geoff 23:10
Can’t do math.
Georgie 23:13
Math versus Maths. But for that reason, I was like, Screw y’all. I’m gonna say mathematics. Because why is math, right? Because I don’t know. I just feel like the abbreviation maths makes more sense. Anyway, it doesn’t matter. I’m not actually judging anyone who says math.
Geoff 23:32
I am.
Georgie 23:32
What was I talking about? Oh, working out. Did you ever do an exam or a test or a competition where they give you points? Or marks for working out? But if you write the answer without the working out, you would lose points. So you don’t get as many points?
Geoff 23:51
Yeah, I think I’m in school in school, just regular tests, really. It’s not even just an exam. They would just go, “Where’s your working out? You need to show working out”. Yeah. So so maybe it’s an anti cheat method? Who knows? Did you?
Georgie 24:05
Yeah, I think it is. Yeah, we had those as well. But we had a competition, like run by the University of New South Wales or something just, it’s not something you have to do for school. But my school like made us do it. It didn’t go towards like your grades, but they made us do it. And—oh wait, no, this wasn’t a New South Wales University one, this is a different one. But there were some questions where they gave you—and I know these numbers are strange—they give you seven points, if you got the answer correct. They would give you no points if you got the answer wrong. But they’d give you three points, if you left it completely blank.
Geoff 24:57
What!
Georgie 24:58
So you just not do anything, you could just not answer any of the questions. And you would still get like, I don’t know. 60 Whatever. Yeah, you’d still get points compared to someone who might have attempted the whole thing and gotten like, none of it correct.
Geoff 25:17
That’s bullshit. That’s bullshit. I wouldn’t do that. I wouldn’t do the test, it’s, it’s an absolutely meaningless test. Like why, why would—
Georgie 25:27
It’s a competition!
Geoff 25:28
Yeah. But still, I guess I wouldn’t go for the competition, then. That’s completely meaningless. “Math and maths are equally acceptable deviations of mathematics”. By the way, just purely because it says mathematics and a plural than math should be a plural. Just FYI, in my mind. The only difference is that math is preferred in US and Canada, and math is preferred in everywhere else. So we should do maths because the US and Canada are—well, the US in general, have strange systems, like, imperial metric. But yeah, “is correct math or maths”...
Georgie 26:18
So yeah, I remember I’ll find this tweet later. But there was an amazing tweet, if I can find it—amazing tweet by someone who was having an absolute, I don’t know, meltdown over the fact that there was something equals one ounce. And it was like an arbitrary number or something, they were just have, they were just shitting on the imperial system. And they’re like, this doesn’t make sense. And they went on and created a thread about all the, all the other things in the imperial system and why... Well, they weren’t necessarily arguing what metric is better. But they were talking about, they were pointing out, this is, this is what something means in the imperial system. And saying that they were really confused because it didn’t match with like, the smaller unit of measurement. And it was, it was quite funny. I’m not doing this thread any injustice. But a lot of people were like, yeah, yeah, I agree.
Geoff 27:12
Yeah. It’s um, I mean, it’s just a pain in the ass. You know, cooking. Every recipe uses cups, or grams, or ounces. Sometimes all three of them in one recipe and you’re stuck here, me, I’m just yelling at Google asking it to convert all the things for me. And sometimes Google doesn’t give me the answer, just gives me a table of like, answers to, to cups, to grams, and I’m like, I’m trying to cook something here. Can someone just stop us? Like, come up with a unified like way of I don’t know, we’ve already done the unified way. So why don’t we all just stick to it and stick it to it? Like, I’ve got cups? I’ve got weighing machines. Like, why do I need all of these different variations of teaspoons, tablespoons. grams, cups, ounces, is just all ridiculous. And you’re trying to cook which, got fire going. You got things stirring? Geez, can someone like stop the madness?
Georgie 28:20
I did find the tweet. I just sent it to you.
Geoff 28:23
Oh, yeah? Sweet.
Georgie 28:24
Yeah.
Geoff 28:26
All right.
Georgie 28:27
On Discord. Yeah. Actually, uh, speaking of that, just recently, I’ve been trying to make instant noodles at this, and, and put eggs on it. Right. So I want to fry the eggs.
Geoff 28:38
Yeah.
Georgie 28:39
And I’ve just for some reason, found it really difficult. Because like, I gotta boil the noodles. I gotta boil the water. And then I put the noodles in. And then, but at the same time, I gotta fry the eggs and I want them a certain way, you know, like, I don’t want the noodles cold. Like, but then I have to mix the noodles with the seasoning. So I have to kind of time it. I’ve gotten better after doing it like maybe four or five times now. But just for, kitchen, kitchen things are...
Geoff 29:07
Two, two minute noodles, right? I tell you I time for one minute. And then I crack an egg into it after a minute so it cooks for a minute and you just scramble it inside the two noodles and that’s it. That’s all I do. The keep, keep it simple.
Georgie 29:22
Nah. I do the, I put the eggs on top. I fry them. Yeah.
Geoff 29:26
You want to you want to fry and put it on the top. “Just learned that there are 16 ounces in a pound and I’m fucking livid”. Let’s go. Let’s follow this journey. “16, what what the fuck kind of number is that? I have had no reason to actually look into imperial measurements until now. And I frankly and frankly I immediately regret it finding this out. Makes some sense though. Because a pound is defined being 7000 grains. So that makes each ounce a nice round 437.5 grains”. Haha, and then “Oh my word. Oh my fucking actual God. Guess how many pounds there are in a stone? You’ll never get it. It would be fucking impossible to guess this. There are 14 pounds in a stone that’s completely different fucking number FYI there’s literally no way to know how many ounces are in a stone. No one can know this!”
Georgie 30:28
And a lot of this is an uppercase, by the way.
Geoff 30:32
“But Inez, you can just multiply up the 14 by 16 and you’ll get—no! Maths has clearly abandoned us, numbers means nothing at this point. The fuck out of antiquated joke system are people working with? My mom: wow. Count yourself lucky. You only need to learn your 10 times tables. When I was a kid. We had to go up to 12. Me, a child: Oh for weights and stuff? Mum, a liar: Sure. Man. Turns out no one on the planet is trained to work with these fucked up numbers. They just make stuff up. No one knows how much a pound is because if they’d ever used this bullshit system, there would be riots. And then how many ounces go in a cup? Which cup, America?” I skipped the word for some reason. “How do you all own the same size of cup? Who has a monopoly on the one good cup size?”
Georgie 31:34
That could be miscontrued for like—
Geoff 31:35
This is so long. Oh, it’s so good. Yeah. Like this thing is like 100 tweets. Oh my god, it goes forever. He he he really, or they really go... How many tweets is this? Anyways, I read about half of it. But that’s hilarious. Yeah. See? That’s what I thought you meant when you said—
Georgie 32:03
It is a he, by the way.
Geoff 32:03
Okay.
Georgie 32:06
Yeah I just looked at his profile.
Geoff 32:07
Yeah, I figured that this was kind of what you meant when you said like, they were complaining about how the numbers just don’t line up. And, man. It delivered. This is hilarious. “So the recipe calls for two pounds, three ounces of flour. You got that? Sure. Yeah, that’s like three cups. Probably. This is a great system.” Yeah, at this stage, I just have a weigh machine. I just have like a little like little dish thing and it asks me for I don’t know, two tablespoons. I just pour two tablespoons into the dish thing and it gives me the grams. I’m like, okay. Or asked me for some grams. I just pour in two tablespoons. Okay, that’s grams. Just convert it into grams.
Georgie 32:51
But yours is a scale, right? Like some kind of scale?
Geoff 32:53
Yes. It’s a scale.
Georgie 32:54
Yeah. It’s a scale that, that uses the metric system.
Geoff 32:59
Yeah it does. Actually, that makes no sense that the thing, the thing I’m using is already the tablespoon, so I guess makes no sense. Either way.
Georgie 33:13
Hang on. I need to know. What exactly is a tablespoon? Like it? Okay. Describe—
Geoff 33:20
Oh.
Georgie 33:21
In context of your kitchen.
Geoff 33:24
Oh, I mean, like, what do I use to get a tablespoon?
Georgie 33:28
Yeah, because I know, I know what a teaspoon is.
Geoff 33:31
Measuring spoon.
Georgie 33:32
Oh, it’s okay. So, it’s legit.
Geoff 33:34
I’ve got a set of measuring spoons that this one is a tablespoon, and this one is a quarter teaspoon, this one’s a teaspoon. But yeah.
Georgie 33:42
Okay, so I don’t have one. How do—
Geoff 33:45
Okay, that’s a problem.
Georgie 33:47
Why is it a problem? Because—
Geoff 33:49
I don’t know?
Georgie 33:50
Because it’s not accurate?
Geoff 33:52
Because I guess it only really matters in dessert cooking and I... because if you put like a quarter teaspoon of sugar or salt into something, you go “uh”. A little too salty, or not salty enough, you put more. Yeah. But I mean, at some at some point in, like in a recipe, you I think that they balance the saltiness. So if I mess with it, that’s bad. But it’s not quite accurate. If you deal with desserts though, that’s a whole nother fucking, that’s like science. You go off by like a bit, dead.
Georgie 34:31
Do you have a measurement spoon for a pinch of salt?
Geoff 34:36
Oh, fuck the pinches, man. No joke. They’re like, pinch. I’m like, how big are your hands? Like how big are my hands?
Georgie 34:45
Okay, when you do you know what’s funny is when I was younger and I heard “a pinch”, I literally thought it meant, like, look at my like, two fingers, index finger and thumb.
Geoff 34:55
That is a pinch! I know there’s a measurement for it but it’s stupid.
Georgie 35:01
Because I have seen like, example like, Gordon Ramsay, some famous chef. When they do a pinch of salt, they use their entire hand. And I’m like, how’s that a pinch? That’s a little handful with all your fingers.
Geoff 35:16
There’s salt bae.
Georgie 35:18
Yeah, forget about salt bae.
Geoff 35:21
If you—“what what does a pinch of salt mean? Phrase, if you take something with a pinch of salt you do not believe that it’s accurate or true”. No, I want to know really literally what a pinch of salt... oh it says 1/16 of a teaspoon. There you go.
Georgie 35:38
That’s very good to know, but maybe if we didn’t put salt in our cooking we don’t believe that the cooking is completely accurate or true.
Geoff 35:47
I’m gonna take this 1/16 teaspoon with a grain of salt.
Georgie 35:52
Grain? Grain? Pinch?
Geoff 35:54
Oh, nope, grain.
Georgie 35:56
Grain.
Geoff 35:58
It’s a whole new level.
Georgie 35:59
Like a single single...
Geoff 36:01
Like a single grain of salt.
Georgie 36:02
Single crystallised like molecule thing of...
Geoff 36:07
Yeah, and you know what? 100 grain, 100 grains of salt mean that I believe it completely, or would I disbelieve it completely? I don’t believe it completely if it’s 100 grains of salt. So one grain of salt.
Georgie 36:20
Oh hang on. So if you have if you take something with a lot more salt that means you believe it less?
Geoff 36:27
Yeah, I think so, is that right?
Georgie 36:28
Yeah, right?
Geoff 36:30
More salt means less belief, less salt means more belief.
Georgie 36:36
I am so fucking salty at this.
Geoff 36:40
No no. It’s got to be more salt, more salt, more belief, because if you take it with a pinch of salt that means you’re saying that you don’t completely believe it’s true. This is a conundrum. Is less or more salt more belief or less belief?
Georgie 36:55
But is it like are you gambling like the salts, if you have a lot of salt, are you putting, are you counting on the fact to be like what the story or whatever as being true? You’re like, I’m—
Geoff 37:08
I bet this much salt that it’s true.
Georgie 37:08
That this a massive bag of s...
Geoff 37:13
Yeah, it’s like how much salt am I willing to bet that this is true? Or how much are you willing to bet it’s false? (laughs)
Georgie 37:22
(laughs)
Geoff 37:22
It’s too philosophical. My brain. My brain shriveling up from all the salt. But yeah. Oh my god. I mean, like, okay, so it’s 1/16 teaspoon. It says there’s a debate about this, I’m like, what’s what’s to debate, you know?
Georgie 37:49
About the pinch of salt?
Geoff 37:50
Oh, there’s a place called Pinch of Salt.
Georgie 37:52
Yeah, cos everybody in the world just has the same like—
Geoff 37:54
Yeah. Can we all just agree that you just salt to taste.
Georgie 37:58
...everybody had the same size hand and everybody...
Geoff 38:01
They’re like, salt to taste?
Georgie 38:04
Probably.
Geoff 38:07
Oh, my God. Audio has completely given out.
Georgie 38:09
Yeah. But still, this pinch of salt thing. I just. Oh has it?
Geoff 38:14
Okay. Keep going. Keep going. We’re all good.
Georgie 38:19
Dun dun dun dun. Yeah. Imagine if like it was something you learned in school where when you took a pinch of salt, you had to like by hand, pick exactly. 1/16 of a teaspoon. And everybody had to learn this in school. And then every year you had to review it because your hand got bigger because people—
Geoff 38:38
Yeah, maybe.
Georgie 38:39
Imagine if you had to do that for your whole life.
Geoff 38:40
Maybe the top shelf—top chefs in the world, have fine tuned their pinch, salt pi—salt pinching grip. Like, over decades of pinching salt. They went to salt pinching school, from the Academy of Salt Pinchers. And got the degree. Provisional license. You know like your Bunsen burner license? Or your pen license? They got Salt Pinching license?
Georgie 39:15
Oh my god.
Geoff 39:18
“This is a 1/16 teaspoon”.
Georgie 39:21
I don’t think, I don’t think the pen license, I don’t think the pen license is universal. So we might have to explain that.
Geoff 39:29
What?
Georgie 39:34
Yeah, I’m pretty sure I heard somewhere, and someone was like, what’s a pen license?
Geoff 39:38
Man. Well, I had a pen license. We were using fountain pens. And—
Georgie 39:48
Yeah, I did too. But.
Geoff 39:49
Yeah. And Bunsen burner licenses where they just just make sure you don’t burn things completely. But I had electrical.
Georgie 40:04
Well, I think some people are weirded out by...
Geoff 40:06
Weirded out by Bunsen burners. Yeah, I guess so.
Georgie 40:09
The you know, the pen license, like you got to have the pencil, you write in pencil, until they feel like you’re good enough to write in pen.
Geoff 40:19
Pen is—
Georgie 40:19
People would make fun of this because they could just use a pen at home. And they’re like “my parents let me use a pen at home”, and it’s like, OK.
Geoff 40:27
But like, homework is super official, and you can’t can’t have illegible pen writing, you know, that’s unacceptable. I had... Like, I think people should actually revise their driver’s licenses. That should be a good thing. Every 10 years. You have to keep your license.
Georgie 40:53
Like do the test again?
Geoff 40:55
Yeah, I mean, arguably, I may not pass myself.
Georgie 40:58
Yeah.
Geoff 40:59
But there are some people out there who definitely need to—
Georgie 41:03
Oh yeah, I probably wouldn’t.
Geoff 41:07
Yeah, it’s like in an emergency, like, a revision of license may help. Know that someone can still drive. What was I talking about? Alright, so I went to, I had an electrical class like electronics class it back in high school, and they let us use soldiering irons. So I don’t know if everyone knows what a soldering iron is. But essentially, it’s like a hot, hot metal pen tip. And it’s used to melt metal. Essentially. You put this soft metal against this hot pen tip and it just turns to liquid. No license for that, we’re perfectly fine. Like, seriously, this thing’s worse than a Bunsen burner?
Georgie 42:01
Oh god.
Geoff 42:01
But I guess we’re old enough. It’s like year 10, 11. Like, do you really need to give people licenses to teach them how to do the thing? But yeah.
Georgie 42:12
I mean, it’s school. So.
Geoff 42:14
Yeah, school, man. Anyways, I think that’s the end of the podcast. I don’t know. I think that’s it. Yeah, we’re hitting hitting the mark. So don’t forget to follow us on @toastroastpod on Instagram and Twitter, mostly Twitter.
Georgie 42:39
Mhmm. You can find us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and you guessed it, the big pinch of salt.
Geoff 42:46
Oh. Oh, no small, medium, big pinch of salt, no! And...
Georgie 42:58
Put a lot of salt in it. Super salty.
Geoff 43:02
Always. Stay salty, everybody. And we, new episodes every Monday.
Georgie 43:08
See you next week.
Geoff 43:10
Bye.
Georgie 43:11
Bye.